pancakes and couch cushions.....

i was challenged last week by a very dear friend (Erin, of Lemon Tree Creations) to MAKE!!!

ever since our move last june i have been struggling with loss.
it comes and goes mostly, but at times it completely takes over and i am tend to drown in it.

for a while i assumed that the loss i was experiencing was the loss of a place and of the people there.
only recently, though, have i realized that the place itself had not made me whole, and
i still have the people.  very much so do i have them.

so the loss i have been suffering, was something inside of me.

throughout all of this, one of the things E has said to me over and over again is, MAKE!

i LOVE to make, to create, to get messy.
why am i not doing it more?????
surely it is part of what was lost.

of course it is.

after accepting [joyfully and possibly a little unwillingly] said challenge i was faced with the stark realization that it has truly been enough.

the next day,
forcing myself to sweep the floor (therapeutic, right?)
i cried.
and i cried out to God as i so often do.
but something
i begged and i pleaded.
i didn't want to figure this out on my own.
i could not figure this out on my own.
i did not, either, want to search elsewhere for an answer to this wretchedness.
why has He not taken this feeling away from me yet?

this battle raged for nearly all of nap time after which i found myself face down on our living room [still newly painted and LOVING it!] floor,
ready for a new start.
which was granted immediately.
beautifully.  graciously.
THANKfully.  (=

and guess what?  i feel like i am home again!
right here, in our new town!!!!!
really, really and truly.  the difference is palpable.
God is amazing.  life is amazing.
it always is.
He always is.


i am sure you are wondering, 'pancakes and couch cushions'?????

well, this morning, at the prompting of L, i made
'the biggest pancakes he has ever seen'!
and they were sweet for 2 reasons:

1.  the kiddos loved them and one was just enough to save the leftover not-so-gigantic ones for afternoon snack,
and
2.  i did slightly char them enough that I was inclined to eat only one!  (=

as for the cushions,
I MADE 2 COUCH CUSHION COVERS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i did!  (=

i am in the process of re-covering our couch via the wonderful and ever-so-versatile canvas drop cloths found in the Lowe's paint department.
i do intend to share this story more as it progresses....along with a few other things i 'whipped up' this morning as my lovelies jumped on A2 and i's bed and played sweetly and beautifully together.



enjoy!

-c.  (=